So you want to be the next Greg Kurstin? There’s another app for that.
Synthetica, the official Metric app, lets you tinker around with ambient and electronic soundscapes to create “Metric-like” tracks. Fans can now put their own musical spin on 11 “interactive song experiences” by visually remixing, filtering and layering different instruments and samples together.
“It really is pretty hard to make sucky music with this thing,” wrote Fast Company. Are you fucking kidding? That’s just another way of saying, “this app takes all the genius out of making electronic music.”
The writer goes on to admit that music apps are “intimidating.” They should be, you asshat, you’re not a musician! “The limiting factor on their output is always my own complete lack of musical intuition.” Oh brother…
Making music, at least good music, should be hard! It shouldn’t be accessible to everyone with an iPad. If so, then we wouldn’t need talent, artistry, musical intuition. We wouldn’t need artists like Metric.
Now I get that this app is a pretty cool way for fans to interact and engage with music as a product, but let’s be real. You’re not creating music here, simply layering a bunch of random samples and beats together. It’s the infinite monkey theorem: a monkey playing with Synthetica for an infinite amount of time will certainly compose Beyonce’s “Standing on the Sun.”
The actually producer of that song, Greg Kurstin, was no monkey, however, and it obviously didn’t take him infinity to make that song. Kurstin, a Grammy-winner whose worked with Lily Allen, Santigold and Tegan & Sara, started playing the piano when he was five years old and was a touring musician with Beck before becoming one of today’s hottest producers.
Get the monkey his new iPad.