Fabulis Happy Hour: Can Redefining Love to Accommodate a Third Save Commitment?

“What’s Fabulis? Well, right now? It’s just a blog and some underwear…”

Last week, even though I hadn’t shaved in days and my armpits were perspiring beyond normal, I decided to attend a party for an internet start-up based out of New York. Fabulis.com is set to connect gay men to the hippest parties and places in town. Right now though, it just feels like a protoype of “Queer Site for the Facebook Fan.” Besides, it’s kind of hard to take any site seriously in which I, armpit stains and all, surpass noted author of theTales of the City saga, Armistead Maupin, in a list of “fabulous” men in San Francisco.

The team behind the operation is like something plucked right out of a Bravo reality TV series, so it’s no surprise they managed to attract lots of curious cats to their happy hour at Blackbird. I ordered the bar’s signature drink, the Blackbird Royale which the waitress described as similar to a French 75… I’m thinking is closer to a French 77, but who’s counting? The Royale is gin, St. Germaine and sparkling wine.

I met a handsome couple there who revealed to me, after bluntly asking about their private life, that they weren’t just a couple, but a “trouple” – at least that’s what my co-worker labeled it after I explained the situation. A troople is simply a romantic entanglement comprised of three, a triad if you will, and a perfect example of polyamory.

San Francisco’s love affair with open-relationships is not anything new, but unlike this more prominent, boundary-pushing form of commitment, this triad is strictly monogamous. The originally pairing has gone strong for over ten years but decided to include a third (that’s it) to form an egalitarian pyramid. They confessed that for the most part, their sex life consists of an all-for-all, the three of them going into the bedroom together. Yes, there were a few times when, due to business travel or some other inconvenience, a twosome was in order. Their formula seemed to be working. After all you can’t make a Royale without sparkling wine.

And why not? In this day and age, it’s unrealistic to expect one man to fulfill all our modern needs. And what about our natural urge to conquer and guard? Perhaps not so natural when you think of jealously as not a way to measure how much you love someone, but more precisely, how insecure you feel about yourself.

For a far-more-informed take on polyamory and open relationships, check out Dossie Easton’s Ethical Slut.

Photos: Fabulis/Tony De Lucci

Oscar Raymundo
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