WonderCon: Why I Refuse to Be with a Man Who Doesn’t Like ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’

“You sleep with a guy… he goes all evil.” -Buffy

A couple of weeks ago, I found out that the Comic Cons in New York and San Diego have a fairy younger brother, WonderCon, which happens every year in San Francisco. And what would be the best closing ceremony than an interactive, sing-along screening of “Once More with Feeling…” Yes, that Buffy episode that Joss Whedon wrote and directed (with the help of some composer) as a musical the same year as Moulin Rouge! (circa 2001).

As soon as I step inside the Mascone Center, shielding from the impending downpour, I’m greeted by Wolverine, two Storm Troopers and a girl that really looked like Bella from Twilight. She wasn’t dressed up… she just looked like Kirsten Stewart, with her Hot Topic hoodie and black fingernail polish. Ugh, no one understands you – kind of look.

It’s before noon on a Sunday, and I’m running early to this inspirational speaker the WonderCon pamphlet described as, “the Tony Robbins of Geeks.” (I have no idea what that means…)

Goal-Setting for Creative Types— Which side of the convention table do you want to be on, artist or fan? And what’s keeping you from getting there? If you have an idea in your head that you’ve had trouble bringing into reality, you might benefit from this fun and practical goal-setting workshop, designed specifically for the WonderCon crowd.”

Basically, this guy talked to a room of fans-wanting-to-be-artists about “writing down your goals,” “doing your homework” and “being realistic!” – the steps to becoming a celebrated illustrator at Dark Horse (or whatever). He’d give us gold coins that were valued at, I’m guessing, nothing for answering his silly questions. Oh, and the most important lesson! Never, ever, EVER give up! And he delivered these hints as if sharing the secrets of life… and then visually alluding to Star Wars and Star Trek by showing clips on the projector.

My goal? Get promoted to top dog at Marvel, Inc. Have Stan Lee mowing my lawn. And Robert Downey Jr. making me lemonade… I guess, I’m not “being realistic!”

The next session, I missed half-of because I was meeting up with my friends. But it had something to do with female superheroes in poetry. Gender, blah, blah, blah… male-dominated profession… blah, blah, blah. Following that we stumbled on a panel of guys talking about selling their creative content to Hollywood. And how “Hollywood is stupid.”

We had dinner at this crazy place. I felt like I was stuck in a Tarantino film. Welcome to Jollibee, the Philippines’ #1 fastfood chain. And after completing THAT video game challenge, we went back to WonderCon to walk the grounds. I was looking at a booth with a bunch of collectible trading cards when I saw them! One complete deck! 1996 Fleer X-Men cards. So shiny. So rare. I was seriously considering dishing out $50 for it! “Why? What’s the point?” My friend asked. Why?! I love the feeling of having something complete – all its parts, in one place, no loose ends. I like having that feeling! Besides, my cousin used to have the entire 1996 Fleer collection. He showed them to me once. Ever since, I’ve been obsessed! We all have our pop fetishes. So shiny. So rare.

Speaking of shiny, I also almost bought this t-shirt. What do you guys think?

On to the main act: the Buffy musical! I had completely forgotten how heroin chic Spike was back then. I don’t really get the whole… Spike thing. I’m an Angel era, Buffy fan. Season 2 is the best. From “Lie to Me” to “Becoming,” the epic two-part season finale where Buffy “comes out” to her mom and gets kicked out of school. Oh yeah, and where she kills Angel!

Oscar Raymundo
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